In most situations, divorce represents a life-changing event with lasting repercussions. After a traumatic experience, after ending a marriage, many people want to get as far away as possible. If it’s just you, relocation is simple enough. However, when children are involved, matters become more complicated.
We generally talk about this as if your ex wants to relocate with the kids. In reality, however, the same rules and restrictions also apply if you plan to move.
What if your ex has custody and wants to relocate?
Child custody is a huge point of concern and contention in many divorces. One component of a parenting plan is where the parent with primary custody lives with the children.
Moving to a new house within the same school district is one thing. In these cases, the noncustodial parent has no grounds to object, though the new contact information must be shared.
But a great distance, outside of the child’s current school district or to another state for example, is something else entirely.
There are many reasons for relocating after a divorce. Escaping negative memories, new career and employment opportunities, and being near family, friends, or a support system. All of these factors and more often play a part in the decision.
As with many issues in dissolving a marriage, children muddy the waters. Moving out of state affects everyone, both parents and kids.
Parenting Plans And Relocation
Creating a parenting plan is a significant part of the divorce process when children are involved.
This is where you and your spouse work out the details regarding your respective parenting responsibilities. The two sides must arrange for primary custody, visitation, child support, and other matters.
Laying the groundwork for a parenting plan can be a challenge in the best of circumstances. Schedules come into play, and all manner of logistical concerns arise.
It’s difficult enough to set up vacations, weekend visits, soccer games, after-school activities, and all the rest even if you and your ex live in the same place.
A great deal of effort goes into this document. Ultimately, your parenting plan has a significant impact on whether you or your ex can relocate with your children.
To move, the custodial parent must file for a modification to the current custody agreement and obtain permission.
If there isn’t a parenting plan or custody order in play, the custodial parent may be free to move at will. At least as long as there are no violations of Washington’s laws against custodial interference or the Uniform Child Custody and Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act.
The parent who does not have the majority of residential time often seeks our services to prevent the intended relocation of the other parent, or to assist in negotiating or litigating a new reasonable Parenting Plan.
However, a parent who spends most of their time with their children may need our assistance in following the proper procedures to facilitate the move.
Related Reading: What Does a Parenting Plan Include?
Parental Relocation Hearings
The good news for you is that in most cases, your ex can’t simply decide to relocate with the kids.
Like most things regarding kids, there’s a strict process and a procedure to follow, and you have recourse. Moving away without the court’s express permission can result in contempt charges, fines, and even imprisonment.
The most common way to obtain this authorization is through a relocation hearing. If your ex wants to relocate with the kids, unless you’re okay with that, you’ll likely wind up in front of a judge.
In Washington, the custodial parent is required to give a minimum of 60 days notice before the move. Once notice is served, the noncustodial parent has 30 days to file a formal objection.
After that, the court sets a trial to determine whether the move represents the child’s best interests.
Related Reading: Guardian Ad Litem: What You Need to Know
How Does The Court Decide on Relocation?
When it comes to child custody and matters involving minors, the best interests of the kids trump almost everything else.
This is what the courts weigh most heavily in these matters. Much more than parental preference or convenience.
Your ex may argue that moving to a new area enhances the children’s quality of life.
Perhaps there’s a new job or financial opportunity, an extended network of family to provide childcare, or increased stability. Remarriage is also a common drive in these cases. The child’s needs may be better met in a new environment.
There are numerous reasons why people choose to relocate.
If you hope to block a move, you have to show that where the child lives currently is the best possible situation. This can be tough, however, and the custodial parent usually has the edge.
The strain of removing the child from a familiar environment and reducing contact with the non-custodial parent are two elements that contribute to this.
What Does The Court Look At When Making a Decision?
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- What motivation or desire prompted the relocation?
- Are there advantages that benefit the child and improve their life?
- Why do you oppose this move?
- What are the logistics and financial impact?
- What disadvantages will the move cause?
- Is it possible to arrange a reasonable visitation schedule that preserves the parental relationship with the non-custodial parent?
- What’s the likelihood that the parent with primary custody will honor the agreement?
- Will a move truly afford the child(ren) an opportunity to form a relationship and bond with extended members of their family?
In Washington State, the primary burden is actually upon the non-custodial parent. If the parent with primary custody desires to remove the child from the state, you must demonstrate that keeping the child in the state is in the child’s best interest.
Do You Have To Go to Court If Your Ex Wants to Relocate?
Relocation hearings don’t always happen when one parent wants to move away or out of state. If you and your ex can work out the details together, it’s possible to arrange it on your own. It may be complicated, but it is an option.
In the case of an out-of-state move, both parents must give their consent and sign the appropriate documents. Before relocation occurs, a judge must also sign off on the matter and approve the move.
How To Make It Work
No matter how prepared you are, your ex may be granted permission to relocate with your children.
Ideally, this decision will truly be what’s best for the kids, not one made out of spite or bitterness. However, that doesn’t make being apart from your family any easier.
A great distance creates a new set of logistical problems to overcome.
As your usual visitation won’t likely work anymore, you’ll have to make other arrangements.
Instead of weekly overnights, perhaps your ex will make additional concessions. You may be able to coordinate more extended visits during holidays, summer vacations, or school breaks.
Travel is another issue you face after relocation. If the distance is too long to reasonably drive, the kids will likely have to fly back and forth.
In this situation, who pays for the plane tickets? Are the kids old enough to fly by themselves? If you go to them and make the effort to visit the new city, you incur your travel costs.
These are all issues that you must confront and address. Ideally, both parties are amicable and able to work out a mutually beneficial arrangement for everyone involved.
Related Reading: Co-Parenting Strategies for Divorced Parents
Communication
Even if you aren’t able to visit your children in person as often, you still have other ways to stay in touch.
With cell phones, text messages, video chats, and social media, there are more tools available than ever before. Just because you’re far away doesn’t mean you don’t have opportunities to interact and stay a regular part of your child’s routine.
Though there may be a great physical distance, you can remain an active part of your child’s life.
- Make sure that the flow of information doesn’t dry up.
- Do your best to keep up to date on their daily lives.
- Whether it’s medical appointments, baseball games, grades, or disciplinary issues, keep the lines of communication as open as possible.
These often seem like mundane details, but they are essential for maintaining an active presence as your child continues to grow.
Preparing for Relocation
The level of communication between you and your ex after divorce will likely vary a great deal. However, if you have kids, there will necessarily be some form of interaction.
Ideally, if your former spouse intends to relocate, they’ll tell you well in advance.
As we said, they’re legally required to give 60 days’ notice, but hopefully, they provide more than the bare minimum. Even if it’s just an idea, or they let you know they applied for a job in a new city, hopefully they broach the subject well in advance.
The more notice you receive, the more time you have to prepare. Either to contest the proposed move or to hammer out the logistics of the new arrangement.
If you do plan to fight relocation, and the two sides can’t agree, consider hiring an attorney to help with the court process. These trials can become complex and contentious, and it’s usually your best option to have someone represent your rights and interests.
Moving Forward
If you don’t have a custody order or aren’t planning to obtain one, please recognize its significance. Understand that your parental rights may already be in jeopardy if you don’t have primary custody and your former spouse has a reasonable argument to move away with your kids.
Whether they have a new spouse from a different area, a job that necessitates a move, or need to care for sick relatives, the bottom line is that unless you, the non-custodial parent, have a compelling reason to prevent your ex from relocating, it’s tricky to stop a move legally.
Related Reading: Can You Modify Child Support Payments?
