When Your Ex Violates Court Orders: Motion For Contempt

The ultimate goal of the divorce process is to hammer out a deal on finances, property division, child custody, spousal support, and other details. In many cases, it takes a while to get there, and the journey is often arduous.

Not always, unfortunately. Not everyone abides by the divorce decree. What can you do if your ex won’t follow the divorce agreement in Washington?

What If Your Ex Violates Your Divorce Agreement?

The good news is that you have legal recourse. It’s not always easy, and it usually takes some time and resources, but there are options out there.

Once handed down by the proper authorities, your divorce agreement is an official court order. That means the terms are legally enforceable.

A simple misunderstanding is one thing. It’s possible that either you or your ex read the court order and misinterpreted the language or the specifics. It’s when these slights are willful and form a pattern that serious issues arise.

File An Order to Show Cause

If your ex steadfastly refuses to follow the divorce agreement, your situation may require legal action.

In Washington, one option is to file an order to show cause. This is when one party requests that the court demand an explanation from the other, to “show cause” for their behavior.

Let’s say that a parent “forgets” to drop the kids off as arranged. Or conflicts come up every time there’s scheduled parenting time. In this situation, at a show-cause hearing, each parent has the opportunity to state their case.

The non-custodial parent can ask the court to order the other to abide by the parenting plan, change the visitation schedule, or even transfer custody. The custodial parent must explain why they disobeyed the court-ordered divorce agreement.

File A Motion For Contempt

Contempt as a concept is relatively simple: it’s the willful and intentional disobedience of a court order.

A motion for contempt is a formal means of requesting that the court compel the violator to comply with a court order.

Depending on the severity of the infractions, contempt carries substantial repercussions.

A judge can:

• • Order counseling.
  • Allot makeup time you missed with your kids.
  • Require parenting classes.
  • Change a parenting plan or alter a custody schedule.
  • Award attorney’s fees.
  • Enforce civil penalties.
  • Hand down jail time if the case warrants, though usually only as a last resort.

Because of potentially lasting consequences, it’s important not to abuse a motion for contempt. Sometimes, however, pursuing contempt-of-court charges regarding child custody orders is the best option.

The primary goal of a motion for contempt is to compel the other party to comply with the court order going forward.

Related Reading: Contempt Of Court Violation Forms (Washington State Court Website)

Modification Of A Divorce Agreement

Instead of pursuing a show-cause or contempt proceeding, another option is to modify the existing divorce agreement. Modification usually takes time and effort, but it might provide long-term benefits if successful.

Back to the example where the custodial parent interferes with or denies your visitation. In this instance, if this is a larger, prolonged pattern, the original order doesn’t work.

You can petition the court for custody. As the courts don’t like to alter divorce settlements already in place, this usually becomes a long process. It can involve discovery, hearings, and even a trial, depending on the case. If you opt to go this route, be ready for the long haul.

Ways to Protect Child Custody Before You Need A Motion For Contempt

There are steps to take before it gets to that point that can hopefully help avoid such situations.

Establish the Rules

It’s tempting to set up a cooperative arrangement with your ex, one in which both parents collaborate to continue raising a child. In ideal situations, that’s great. It’s suitable for the kids, and for you, and if you can pull it off, that’s fantastic.

Problems arise, however, when conflicts occur, things change, and there’s no backup plan. If both parents can work together, good, but there will likely be at least some moments of friction. In the end, it will be to your advantage to have a concrete plan in place.

Follow the Rules

Once you lay out the guidelines, it’s essential to stick to them. You can’t expect your ex to abide by rules if you are unwilling to toe the line. Not only is this courteous and fair, but it can also influence legal proceedings down the road.

It reflects poorly on you to file a motion for contempt that claims your ex violates the visitation arrangement if you regularly do the same.

On the other hand, it looks much better to stay as close as possible to the rules you set up. This may prove frustrating, especially if your ex flaunts violations, but it will ultimately benefit your case.

Enforce the Rules

Once you lay out the rules, it’s also important to enforce them. Filing a motion for contempt is one way to do this.

As stated earlier, it’s a serious move, one to maybe keep in your back pocket for extreme circumstances. There are less drastic ways to accomplish these goals.

Don’t let your ex flaunt the rules. People often push boundaries to see what they can and can’t get away with. If your former spouse consistently bends the rules and you never deal with it, this behavior is more likely to continue in the future.

Document Everything

If a pattern is established, document any violations of the court-ordered parenting plan or divorce agreement.

If you do get to the point where you do need to file a motion for contempt or take other legal action, being able to prove your claims will be important. It may help to have witnesses at scheduled pick-ups or drop-offs where your ex doesn’t show up.

If you go back and forth about spousal or child support payments via email, text, voice mail, or even a social media post, hang onto those. The more definitive the evidence, the stronger your case.

Don’t Just Take The Kids

Though tempting at times, don’t just show up and take kids when it’s not your scheduled time, even if you feel owed. That may well be construed as kidnapping, with significant legal ramifications.

And even if that doesn’t happen, you give your ex ammunition to use against you in court. It may give you a moment with the kids, but it’s a move that can backfire in so many profound, permanent ways.

Don’t Stop Paying Spousal Or Child Support

If your ex denies visitation, stopping child support or spousal maintenance payments makes sense to some people. You can’t just stop paying child support if your ex denies your visitation. You also can’t stop spousal support payments if your ex refuses to hand over property or assets awarded to you in a settlement agreement.

In some cases, if you can’t work it out on your own, having an attorney send a strongly worded letter may be enough. Sometimes just that threat is enough to move the needle.

Be clear that you’re willing to talk things out. But also be firm and make it clear that if you’re continually denied court-ordered visitation or other arrangements, you may take legal action.

Related Reading: Are Divorce Records Public?