These run the gamut from stories about the relationships between fathers and their children to movies that almost every dad we’ve ever met loves. Some titles are holiday-specific, while others are just films every dad we know loves. Take a look below and let us know what you think of our favorite awesome dad movies.

Awesome Dad Movies

Baseball movies are always a good place to start:

Field Of Dreams

1989’s Field of Dreams is a movie tailor-made for Father’s Day. When a mysterious voice compels an Iowa farmer (Kevin Costner) to build a baseball diamond in the middle of a cornfield, it kicks off a saga that’s more about fathers and sons than home runs. Or corn. Or even the ghost of Shoeless Joe Jackson.

This all-time sports movie classic offers wide-eyed enthusiasm, the search for atonement, and indelibly etched “If you build it, he will come” into the pop culture lexicon.

Bull Durham

With Bull Durham, Field of Dreams, and For the Love of the Game, Kevin Costner has a thing for baseball as a storytelling mechanism.

Writer/director Ron Shelton deftly balances drama, humor, and heart in telling the tale of a perennial minor leaguer (Costner), his dumb-but-absurdly-talented protégé (Tim Robbins), and the superfan who unites them (Susan Sarandon).

Philosophical, romantic, and raucous, there’s a good reason—many actually—why Bull Durham stands as one of our most beloved baseball and dad movies.

Pride Of The Yankees

A biopic celebrating the life of Lou Gehrig, The Pride of the Yankees chronicles the rise of New York’s legendary first basemen.

It follows him from his young days, dreaming of playing in the big leagues, to his death at 37 from the neurological disease now commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

A romantic tale of a passionate dreamer, this is one for baseball fans and non-fans alike. Fun fact: Babe Ruth plays himself. As do Gehrig’s Yankee teammates Bob Meusel, Mark Koenig, and Bill Dickey.

The Sandlot

Celebrating more than 25 years, The Sandlot has become a modern classic for a certain generation. Following a group of neighborhood kids, the story deals with friendship, growing up, and changing times.

It also dives into the idea of broken homes, blended families, and coming to terms with the often harsh realities we face every day in family law.

But most of all, it’s a love letter to baseball and the sense of wonder it can still create.

Moneyball

Who knew a movie about baseball statistics would be so compelling? But here we are.

Moneyball traces the saga of Oakland A’s general manager Billy Beane (Brad Pitt). Hemmed in by finances, he turns to in-depth statistical analysis to build a winning baseball team.

Ultimately, he reshaped the way teams approach the game. Many teams have since imitated his approach with great success, but at the time it represented a radical departure from the way things were done.

Sure, the film follows the rise of an iconoclast who dared buck the system. But the heart of the film lies with Beane’s relationship with his young daughter as they navigate the ups and downs of being a single parent.

Bang the Drum Slowly

One of the greatest baseball movies ever, 1973’s Bang the Drum Slowly also helped launch the career of Robert De Niro.

The movie tells the story of the friendship between a star pitcher (Michael Moriarty) and his dim-witted catcher (De Niro). They navigate the ups and downs on the baseball diamond as well as the latter’s terminal illness.

Think of a baseball version of Brian’s Song. Heartbreaking and heartwarming in equal measure, get ready to pretend you have something in your eye.

The Natural

If you ever nicknamed a baseball bat “Wonderboy,” you already know The Natural. Barry Levinson’s Oscar-nominated adaptation of Bernard Malamud’s novel traces the career of Roy Hobbs (Robert Redford).

A young prodigy, off-the-field events derail his path to the majors, though he finally gets his chance in the bigs much later in life.

A sincere homage to the national pastime, embodying both the pain and joy we endure as fans, this is a modern fable about the American dream.

42

Jackie Robinson was a hero, both on and off the baseball field. There’s a reason why Major League Baseball permanently retired his number.

42 dramatizes his struggle and the obstacles he faced to become the first African American to break the color line and play in the majors.

Full of great performances from Chadwick Boseman and Harrison Ford, among others, it’s not only a great baseball movie but an important history lesson and illustration of how sports can drive change.

Bad News Bears

The cranky, crotchety, reluctant coach is a sports movie staple, but few are as enduring or memorable as Walter Matthau’s Morris Buttermaker in The Bad News Bears.

The alcoholic, pool-cleaning, former-minor-league-pitcher becomes the unlikely father figure to the ultimate little league team of misfits and miscreants.

Rude, crude, and a ton of fun, it’s a movie both kids and adults can love. Even if younger viewers may pick up a blue word here or there.

Just Because

Caddyshack

Admittedly, Harold Ramis’ 1980s comedy classic Caddyshack doesn’t have much to do with fathers, children, or the relationship between the two. But what dad doesn’t love Caddyshack? What father doesn’t bust out Bill Murray’s Dalai Lama speech at least a couple of times a year at family gatherings?

The story of the absurdity that goes on behind the scenes at a posh country club is one of the most hilarious, quotable comedies of the modern era. It features Saturday Night Live vets Murray and Chevy Chase, as well as legends like Rodney Dangerfield, working at the top of their game. It’s got that going for it, which is nice.

Finding Nemo

Fathers will do just about anything for their children. This has been fuel for films since day one. And, at least cinematically speaking, it’s not a trait exclusive to humans.

As illustrated by Disney and Pixar’s 2003 Finding Nemo, this also includes an animated clownfish voiced by Albert Brooks. When his son is taken from their home on the Great Barrier Reef, timid Marlin (Brooks) sets out on a dangerous journey across the open ocean to rescue his boy.

That’s a simple formula, but the movie is anything but. Full of adventure, gorgeously rendered visuals, and engaging and sympathetic characters, Finding Nemo is inventive, engrossing, funny, and full of both humor and heart like few films out there, animated or otherwise.

If that’s not perfect for Father’s Day, what is?

Nebraska

Director Alexander Payne’s 2013 Nebraska is a bittersweet comedic drama—or dramatic comedy if you prefer. Quirky, and at times heartbreaking, the film looks at the troubled relationship between an adult son and his aging, alcoholic father.

The estranged pair travel from Montana to Nebraska so the patriarch can claim a dubious million-dollar prize.

Primarily known for his wild comedy, Will Forte delivers a subtle, nuanced performance, and Bruce Dern as his father is no less than stunning, more than earning his Best Actor Oscar nomination.

Shot in stark black and white, the color palette and flat, barren landscapes reflect the lives of the characters. The end result presents a powerful story about watching those you love to grow old and become fragile.

Mrs. Doubtfire

Again, fathers going to great lengths for their children is a theme on full display in Chris Columbus’ 1993 comedy Mrs. Doubtfire.

After a bitter divorce that sees him being cut out of the lives of his children, down-on-his-luck actor Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams) disguises himself as a female housekeeper in order to keep an eye on and spend time with his kids.

This movie takes a lot of grief and has been spoofed and parodied all over the place. However, at the core, it’s an inherently sweet family picture. It gets a bit sappy and light at times, but anchored by a Robin Williams performance that is simultaneously manic, overboard, and genuinely sweet, it’s well worth another watch.

Father Of The Bride

Vincent Minnelli’s 1950 Father of the Bride is, itself, a fantastic movie and well worth your time. It does star Elizabeth Taylor and Spencer Tracy after all, and was nominated for multiple Academy Awards.

But for the purposes of this list, we’re talking about the 1991 Steve Martin-starring remake. Watching our kids grow up, it’s hard to imagine them as independent adults, fully capable of looking after themselves.

At the heart of this film is the realization every parent eventually comes to, that eventually our kids no longer need us, and they’re just fine on their own.

That’s a hard truth that George Banks (Martin) and his wife, Nina (Diane Keaton), have to accept building up to their daughter’s wedding. That, of course, is easier said than done. All manner of shenanigans ensue, and the result is delightful.

Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade

If you’ve ever wished your dad was a heroic adventurer, a peerless intellectual, or just all-around cool, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is the wish-fulfillment movie for you. If your father just so happens to be Sean Connery, even better.

Steven Spielberg’s 1989 film, the third in the franchise, sees everyone’s favorite archaeology professor, Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford), on one last epic quest. At least until Kingdom of the Crystal Skull rolled around. This time, however, things are a bit different as he teams up with his father, Henry (Connery), to find the Holy Grail. The literal Holy Grail.

This has everything you want, from exotic locations to Nazi-fighting to high adventure where the very fate of the world hangs in the balance. If you can’t go on an actual epic quest with your dad on Father’s Day, watching this may be the next best thing.

He Got Game

Relationships with fathers can be tricky and fraught with emotion. Few are as tangled as the one between Jake Shuttlesworth (Denzel Washington) and his son, Jesus (NBA star and rookie actor Ray Allen), in Spike Lee’s 1998 film, He Got Game.

Jake is a convicted felon, serving time for accidentally killing his wife, Jesus’ mother, in front of the boy. The younger Shuttlesworth also happens to be the country’s top high school basketball player. A shady governor grants Jake temporary parole to convince his son to play for the politician’s alma mater.

An obvious comment on corruption in politics, sports, and education, the strained, raw father-son relationship forms the center of He Got Game. Two terrific turns from the lead actors help make it one of Lee’s most accessible films.

Paper Moon

Not all cinematic father figures are actual biological dads. Such is the case with Peter Bogdanovich’s 1973 Paper Moon.

Whether or not Ryan O’Neal’s Depression-era con man, Moses Pray, is the father of his real-life daughter Tatum O’Neal’s young orphan, Addie Loggins, is a question that hangs over the movie. But whether or not there are any real blood ties, their bond is true, and the two form an unlikely partnership.

A sweet and mischievous road movie that follows the mismatched pair, it’s also the story of a life-altering journey for both.

At 10 years old, Tatum O’Neal became the youngest Oscar winner to date for her turn as Addie. The subsequent estrangement of the father and daughter in the real world adds an especially poignant edge to Paper Moon. And there’s hillbilly wrasslin’. What’s not to love?

Thanksgiving/Christmas

As the tryptophan courses through your veins and your body tackle the Herculean task of digestion, physical activity is off the table. Doesn’t settling back into the couch and watching a movie with the crew sound like the best option? To that end, we also have some Thanksgiving-specific suggestions.

Planes, Trains, And Automobiles

What’s not to love about John Hughes working with Steve Martin and John Candy?

This mismatched cross-country road trip pairs Martin’s fastidious advertising executive with Candy’s slovenly traveling salesman. The result has become a true Thanksgiving comedy classic.

Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

It may not be a full feature-length motion picture, but what would any holiday be without a visit from Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang?

Poor Chuck just doesn’t get that buttered toast and popcorn are not traditionally found on a Thanksgiving table. Fortunately for everyone’s favorite mopey sad-sack, Snoopy and Woodstock have his back.

Rocky

You may not immediately think of Rocky on Thanksgiving. Unless your extended family is prone to fisticuffs at holiday gatherings.

But since Sylvester Stallone’s title character meets Adrian, the love of his life, on Turkey Day, it makes the cut. And hopefully your uncle Paulie doesn’t chuck the bird out into the alley.

Side note: Rocky 2 also makes the cut. The rematch between Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed goes down on Thanksgiving.

Spider-Man

As he usually appears in balloon form during the Macy’s Parade, Spider-Man already has a connection to Thanksgiving.

But if you need more, Sam Raimi’s 2002 superhero flick features a Thanksgiving dinner scene. The friendly neighborhood wall crawler’s nemesis, Norman Osborn, stops by, only for Aunt May to chide him for digging in too early.

Alice’s Restaurant

Novels, short stories, and TV shows are all fodder for film adaptations. But you don’t often hear about songs being translated to the big screen.

Arthur Penn’s 1969 Alice’s Restaurant is an exception. Taken from star Arlo Guthrie’s narrative folk song, the film tells the tale of a Thanksgiving day dump run gone awry.

Grumpy Old Men

In Grumpy Old Men, Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon play lifelong neighbors and, most importantly, rivals.

This running feud only deepens when the retired TV repairman and former teacher spot their new neighbor (Ann-Margret) and the competition for her affection reignites old hostility.

This rivalry involves a particularly contentious, and hilarious, Thanksgiving dinner.

The Big Chill

Holidays and old friends gathering together go hand in hand.

Lawrence Kasdan’s 1983 film, The Big Chill, may revolve around a funeral, but one of the key shared memories revolves around a flashback to a gluttonous Thanksgiving feast.

Dutch

The holidays are a time when we mend fences and bridge gaps. 1991’s Dutch does both. Ed O’Neill’s gruff construction worker must ferry his girlfriend’s son from a preppy boarding school in time to make Thanksgiving.

A crass comic road trip, it has enough heart to warm the whole family on a chilly fall day.

Miracle on 34th Street

More commonly associated with a different holiday, most people forget this Christmas classic actually kicks off on Thanksgiving.

And to be fair, once Thanksgiving is in the books, it’s usually a mad dash to the Christmas finish line, so it’s never too early to get in a jolly frame of mind. (And this one involves lawyers, so we’re all in on Miracle on 34th Street.)

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

As you’re stuffed to the gills and on the verge of falling asleep, the stimulating psychological fare might be out of the question.

Thankfully there’s Paul Blart: Mall Cop. More of a Black Friday movie, this will either get you in the mood to brave the early morning shopping throngs or convince you to stay home altogether. Either way, it’s a win.

Awesome Dad Movies for Halloween

There’s always been something about the Halloween season that leads people to marathon horror movies. Maybe it’s the general darkness, that the weather’s bad so staying inside makes more sense, or it’s just fun to sit through cinematic scares.

Most of these skew more towards the family-friendly side of things. Some, however, may be a bit too intense for younger kids or those who scare easily. You know your children and what is and isn’t too far for them. Still, it’s probably best to watch these before you commit to showing them to your brood.

The Goonies

Okay, The Goonies may not be a traditional horror movie. But there are caves, villains, thrills, and pirates, so we’ll let it slide this time.

This swashbuckling adventure puts the kids front-and-center in the action and still holds up decades later.

The Monster Squad

Another film that gives the kids their day, The Monster Squad has become a bona fide cult classic over the years. A group of horror-obsessed pre-teens face-off with classic genre villains like Dracula, the Mummy, and Gill-Man.

And we learn one very interesting, and potentially useful, fact about Wolfman.

Labyrinth

Legendary rock star David Bowie working with Muppet creator Jim Henson seems like a match made in heaven. Their 1986 dark horror fantasy, Labyrinth, follows a young girl (Jennifer Connelly) as she enters a magical world to rescue her kidnapped baby brother from Bowie’s Goblin King.

Weird and wondrous, this makes for perfect viewing this time of year.

Beetlejuice

In a career full of strange, off-kilter films, none are as strange and off-kilter as Tim Burton’s Beetlejuice.

Funny, creepy, and dripping with imagination, a recently deceased ghost couple (Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis) make the mistake of hiring a crude, crass, over-the-top spirit (a gleefully unhinged Michael Keaton) to haunt the insufferable yuppies who’ve taken up residence in their house.

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Is The Nightmare Before Christmas a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie? This debate has raged since the Tim Burton-produced, stop-motion animated, fantasy musical came out in 1993.

But you know what? We think of it as both. Or at least as appropriate for either occasion. It’s delightful and spooky, but not too spooky for the youngsters, and makes for a perfect watch either time of year.

Gremlins

Another entry that doubles as a Christmas or Halloween movie in a pinch, Gremlins taught us many important lessons. Chief among these is that post-midnight snacks have serious consequences.

It may not revolve around Halloween proper, but Joe Dante’s 1984 creature feature totally shares the spirit of the season.

ParaNorman

A blend of horror, humor, and heart, ParaNorman follows a young protagonist who talks to ghosts and battles zombies, bullies, and adults who think he’s weird.

Laika’s animated adventure tackles deep themes and social issues. But also, and most importantly, it’s a rollicking good time rendered in spectacular stop-motion animation.

The Addams Family

The Addams Family was already a classic long before the 1991 cinematic reboot.

But Barry Sonnenfeld’s adaptation is one of the rare birds that spoofs the original at the same time it lovingly embraces the macabre subversiveness in ghoulishly fun ways.

Hocus Pocus

What would a Halloween movie list be without at least a few witches?

Hocus Pocus, the tale of a trio of 300-year-old witch sisters transported to 1993, has become a full-blown cult classic and a frequent addition to many seasonally appropriate watch lists.

Sure, it’s silly, but it provides some delightful spooks and scares for parents and kids alike.

Young Frankenstein

You may not think of Mel Brooks as being wholesome family fare. But while the filmmaker’s trademark blue humor is on full display in his 1974 riff on the Frankenstein story, much of it is subtle enough to fly over the heads of younger audience members.

It’s Halloween viewing you can enjoy along with your kids.

There are, of course, countless other films to help prepare for Halloween. You can marathon all eight (!) Harry Potter movies to stay busy leading up to October 31. It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is a Halloween classic. And it’s never too early to introduce the kids to timeless Universal horror movies like Dracula, Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, The Mummy, and the rest.

These are just a few of our favorite awesome dad movies for various holidays. There are, of course, countless others. Let us know your favorites.

The post Awesome Dad Movies For Any Holiday appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

A key step in all divorces, it often feels like being blindsided. It also comes with a lot of questions. How do you respond? What do you do next? How should you proceed?

What Does It Mean to Be Served Divorce Papers?

Two things happen when you’re served divorce papers:

First, it functions as a formal notice that your spouse has filed to dissolve your marriage. The petition often includes a proposed distribution of assets and debts, custody of any children, child support, and alimony obligations.

Second, after being properly served, this starts a clock in the family court. Each state has a set time in which you must file a response. Regardless of where you live, the countdown begins the day divorce papers are served.

Related Reading: Preparing for a Divorce Consultation

What Do You Do Next?

Once divorce papers have been served, you have two options:

One, you can ignore the filing, in which case the divorce will proceed by default. You lose the right to make arguments on your behalf. This also means the court will likely grant all your spouse’s requests regarding the division of property, custody, support, and the rest.

Two, you can file a response with the court. When you file a response, consider which state has jurisdiction. This has a major impact on your case.

Since Washington is a no-fault state, there’s no need to assign blame or responsibility. You file for divorce based on irreconcilable differences or an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.

If one partner believes the marriage can’t be fixed and wants a divorce, that’s all the court needs.

When responding to the petition for divorce, you can make your own proposal for the allocation of assets and debts, child support, alimony, and custody. Just because your spouse filed first doesn’t mean they automatically get what they want; you will have your chance to make your case.

Related Reading: Is There a Benefit to Filing for Divorce First?

How Do You Respond to Being Served?

The best way to proceed after being served divorce papers is to hire an attorney and file a response in a timely manner.

Once you have completed and signed the Response to Petition, you must deliver it to the appropriate court and the opposing party to make sure the case does not proceed via default.

Related Reading: Jurisdiction In Divorce And Why It Matters

How Do You Move Forward?

Once you’ve been served divorce papers and submitted your response, the true legal work begins.

If both parties agree on most of the issues at hand, you can file for an uncontested divorce. Much faster and easier, this option also saves money on legal fees. This usually fits best in shorter marriages with no significant property or children.

On the other hand, if there are disagreements or conflicts, things become more complicated. Both sides must sit down and hash out the specifics on the property, custody, support, and other points of contention.

Sometimes people can do this on their own, but these negotiations often require attorneys. You may also use a form of alternative dispute resolution, like mediation or arbitration. If that doesn’t work, cases may wind up in court. Contrary to popular belief, however, most divorces resolve before going in front of a judge.

Being served divorce papers can be a big shock. You face an uncertain future when it comes to finances, family, and more. It’s likely in your best interest to talk to a divorce lawyer about the best way to proceed.

Related Reading: Can I Annul My Marriage in Washington?

The post You’ve Been Served Divorce Papers, Now What? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

Judges, juries, opposing counsel, opposing parties, and everyone else involved in a trial are human beings. And people respond and react to what we see and often make snap judgments based on our first impressions.

Whether this is conscious or not, intentional or not, or reveals underlying biases, is a huge topic for another time and place. Regardless, nonverbal cues, from dress to behavior, play a significant part in how people perceive you.

That said, how do you decide what to wear to court?

Related Reading: Does Washington Have Common-Law Marriage?

How To Dress For Court

The fact is that how you dress for court is an important piece of your preparation. Some people will be able to get past your appearance, but others may not. Why take the risk? Why leave loose variables out there when you can control them with something as simple as your clothes?

Know the Dress Code

This may seem obvious, but there’s no excuse for not knowing the rules.

You can likely look up what is and isn’t considered appropriate attire on the courthouse website. If that doesn’t work, you should be able to call and ask. If you have an attorney, he or she can advise you in this capacity.

What is and isn’t acceptable will likely vary depending on where you live. Regulations and restrictions vary from place to place. For example, things may be quite different in a rural area versus in the heart of a major metropolis.

Knowing the dress code will help you choose what to wear to court.

Related Reading: Is Washington a No-Fault Divorce State?

Wear Well-Fitting Clothing

While many of us may lounge around at home in jeans and a baggy sweatshirt, that’s not generally an appropriate way to dress for court. Wear slacks and a belt if you have them. Tuck in your shirt and wear your pants around your waist.

If you have a button-up shirt and a tie, it may be time to pull them out of the closet, regardless of how often you wear such items. Make sure everything fits. You want to look as clean and tidy as possible.

Think of it like going to church or a wedding, and dress accordingly. Leave the ripped jeans, sneakers, and cargo shorts at home.

Related Reading: Ways People Damage Their Own Divorce Cases

Wear Comfortable Clothes

You may only be in court for a quick appearance, but depending on the situation, you may be there all day. However you dress for court, make sure you are reasonably comfortable. If you’re relaxed, that comes across.

Stiff or uncomfortable clothes impact your posture and focus. The last thing you want to do is fidget and fuss and squirm.

You may not always know how long a certain procedure will take, but find out as best you can how long you’ll be there and dress appropriately. Again, an attorney should be able to offer advice in this realm.

Related Reading: Can You Annul a Marriage in Washington?

Be Well Groomed and Presentable

You’ll want to style your hair, or at least tame it as much as possible. Shave, or if you have facial hair, make sure to neatly prune your beard or mustache. Brush your teeth, trim your fingernails, and wear deodorant.

Treat this like a job interview or a first date. You want to put your best foot forward and make a good first impression that lingers with your audience.

Related Reading: When to Hire a Divorce Lawyer

Keep it Simple

Just like you don’t want to come across like a slob, you don’t want to appear ostentatious or flamboyant when you dress for court.

Keep the jewelry to a minimum. Avoid gaudy rings, necklaces, and watches. Don’t wear a hat. It’ll be distracting at best, and appear disrespectful or slovenly at worst.

Don’t overdress. Affectations and accessories are fine in other places, but may not be the best choice for a courtroom.

Keep your pockets as empty as possible. Try to avoid looking like you packed everything you own and only carry what you need. Bring your wallet and keys, and turn off your cell phone. Better yet, leave it in the car. You have other things to focus on anyway.

Related Reading: When is the Best Time to Divorce?

Cover Tattoos and Remove Piercings

Especially in bigger cities, visible tattoos and piercings are increasingly common and accepted.

In your daily life, your friends, family, and boss may have no issue with this sort of self-expression. But cover them up when you dress for court.

You have no way to know if a particular judge looks at tattoos the same way as you do. Maybe there are full sleeves under that robe. Maybe there aren’t.

The point is, you can’t be sure. The same goes for appearing in front of a jury. You have no way of knowing how these people feel about this subject or how they’ll respond. Ignore this easy fix at your own peril.

It’s important to adequately prepare for your day before the bench. How you dress for court and present yourself is an important part of that. Even if it seems like not much is going on, there is a great deal in play.

In a general sense, you don’t want your appearance or clothes to stand out. Your testimony and what you have to say should leave the greatest impression. Be clean, be professional, be appropriate.

There are enough variables in your case that you have no control over, so take the reins when and where you can. Don’t leave anything to chance if you don’t have to. How you dress and what you wear to court are factors you can manage.

Related Reading: What to Expect From A Child Custody Hearing

The post How Should You Dress For Court? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

What’s the difference between legal separation and divorce?

While divorce is final and absolute, legal separation is not so definitive.

In most cases, it serves as a de facto divorce. For all intents and purposes, the marriage ends, though it remains technically, legally intact.

This may sound strange—after all, by this point, you probably want to sever all ties with your spouse as soon as possible—but it does come with potential benefits. In some situations, divorce isn’t the ideal option.

Similarities

In most cases, legal separation functions similarly to divorce.

The couple splits up, they live apart, and a court order sets out all the specifics. During the process, you deal with the division of property, hash out child custody, create a parenting plan, and there can even be child support and spousal support orders.

Legal separation often looks a lot like divorce on a practical, day-to-day level. The mechanics are similar, and though one is final and permanent while the other is not, the finished product tends to be quite comparable.

Related Reading: What’s In A Divorce Decree?

Differences

Though divorce and legal separation often resemble one another, they have significant differences.

The biggest is obviously that in separation, you remain married, and in divorce, you do not.

Divorce dissolves a union once and for all. The marriage is, in no uncertain terms, over, and exes can go about their individual lives completely unfettered. You’re free to date, remarry, work, move, and live without any of the complications of marital entanglement.

In a legal separation, this often plays out similarly. However, the marriage remains official and in place.

• • Though the individuals largely live their own lives, there remains a legal connection.
  • You can’t marry someone else.
  • You have to mark married on forms.
  • There’s a lingering association.

Related Reading: Divorce and Retirement Mistakes

When Is Legal Separation The Best Choice?

Many reasons exist for choosing either divorce or legal separation. The causes are as different and unique as the reasons to end a marriage, and there are many different goals. For some, legal separation is a means to an end, a first step on the way to divorce down the road. In others, it becomes a more permanent state.

For some couples, legal separation provides space to deal with relationship issues with an ultimate eye on reconciliation. Living apart may provide much-needed space for spouses to work on themselves and any issues.

In some cases, legal separation offers time to figure out the particulars of a divorce. This includes financial issues, child custody, and more.

Some people choose to stay married because it’s easier for the kids. Others may be unwilling to divorce for moral, religious, or ethical reasons. It’s even possible for two people to be very much in love but simply unable to live together.

For families with children, legal separation sometimes proves less traumatic than divorce. Depending on how old the kids are, it may be easier to explain that mom and dad live apart than it is to dive into divorce and what that means. The process is often less stressful and hectic than divorce, which impacts everyone involved.

As we said, opting for legal separation over divorce depends on many factors.

Related Reading: How Do Courts Treat Your Debt in Divorce?

Financial Reasons

Many couples opt for legal separation for financial reasons. In certain cases, it provides the benefits of both divorce and marriage.

• • For some couples, filing joint taxes saves money. There are hurdles to continuing to file taxes together after legal separation, though it’s possible on occasion. You should consult a professional ahead of time, however.
  • Retirement benefits often hinge on the length of a marriage. Social Security kicks in after ten years of wedded bliss, so many people near this milestone choose to remain married.
  • Pensions, military benefits, and other retirement allowances also have similar rules and regulations. Money and future financial windfalls are powerful motivators to hold on a bit longer.
  • Continuing access to healthcare often factors into the decision when couples weigh divorce and legal separation. In most cases, employer-supported insurance plans don’t cover former spouses, though some do in legal separation. Again, there are potential pitfalls. Many plans look at legal separation and divorce the same way, so it’s vital to give your policies a close look. But healthcare is expensive, and especially in cases of chronic conditions, this may be a huge motivator.
  • Legal fees and attorney costs are other factors to consider. When complicated cases involve lawyers, the cost of divorce and legal separation can be nearly identical. If not, the cost may be much less.

One thing to know is that if you go with legal separation and ultimately decide to divorce, couples often end up paying twice.

Related Reading: What is Mediation? Different Types of Mediation Styles

The post How Legal Separation Differs From Divorce appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

One of our founding partners, Rick Jones, has a recurring guest spot on the KZOK 102.5 Morning Show, where he tackles family law questions from listeners. This comes directly from one of those calls.

Here’s the full question:

“My ex has custody of our kids, and I recently found out that she’s been working at a strip club. And we’re not talking like a classy place, either. This place has a really bad reputation. And I’m just wondering, could this help me if I wanted to go back to court and try to get custody of my kids again? Like, she’s kind of a crappy mom to begin with, but being a stripper is probably the last nail in the coffin.”

This is clearly an unusual situation, but at its base, it’s a custody issue.

As with most custody cases, there’s a great deal to consider and multiple ways to approach the situation.

Related Reading: What Should a Parenting Plan Include?

What Are the Best Interests of the Child?

When you boil it down, what’s the main issue here? Is it that the caller finds his ex’s line of work objectionable? It may be more cut and dried if she were earning money through illegal means. Though there may be a stigma, from a purely legal standpoint, this is like a job like any other.

From that perspective, he may not have much of a case. But what if this new line of work puts his kids in harm’s way?

When talking about custody, the best interests of the children are the most important factor. Everything else generally takes a back seat while the court looks at what keeps the kids safest, happiest, and most secure.

This is true whatever job you’re talking about, and it’s also the underlying issue of this caller’s question.

Sure, strip clubs don’t have the best reputation, but does it directly impact the safety, health, and well-being of the kids? Does the job follow the ex home? Does her work life negatively impact her ability as a parent?

You can throw out all sorts of hypotheticals and what-ifs. What if your ex leaves the kid in the car while she runs into the club to pick up a paycheck? What if illegal activities are going on in her place of work? 

These are questions the case will seek to answer.

You may find a job morally or ethically objectionable, but from the court’s point of view, if it’s legal and the kids are perfectly safe, you may not have much of a case.

That’s not to say an individual judge won’t feel the same way you do, but from the letter of the law, as written, that’s the reality.

Related Reading: Can Your Ex Keep Your Kids From Playing Sports?

Can You Modify a Child Custody Agreement?

When it comes to changing an existing custody arrangement, while it is possible, that’s often easier said than done.

Parenting plans are court orders and are difficult to alter once in place. Most judges are reluctant to change an existing custody arrangement.

“First of all, once there’s a parenting plan in place, it’s a little bit more of a challenge,” Rick says, answering the question. “You have to show that there’s been some sort of significant difference. And that’s resulting in existing harm to the child.”

He’s also careful to temper expectations, adding, “That being said, if this is where she’s employed, you know, who knows? It may not affect her ability to parent at all.”

To get a modification on these grounds, you must prove that your ex’s job, whatever job it is, either affects their ability to be a good parent or puts the kids at risk. However, even if you show that, it’s often still an uphill battle.

But don’t worry, it’s not hopeless.

Related Reading: What to Expect From a Child Custody Hearing

What Course of Action Can You Take?

You may be asking yourself: What options do I have? What course of action can I take?

If you do suspect your ex’s new job, at a strip club or elsewhere, puts your kids in harm’s way, you’ll have to show your work if you have to modify your parenting plan.

Rick ends with one bit of advice for the caller, “Right off the top of my head, you may want to employ a private investigator to inquire a little bit more about, you know, what sort of activities are going on at, at ‘her office,’ so to speak? But those are the types of things to look at.”

Such an investigation may answer some of those what-if questions. If your ex engages in behavior detrimental to the kids or impacts their parental ability, you can present that evidence to support your case.

If you ultimately wind up in court, a judge will likely order a parenting evaluation. This involves an outside professional assessing the family situation to determine the best interests of the children and which parent offers the healthiest, safest living situation.

The evaluator gathers information through various means. This can include interviews with friends, family, teachers, and others, observing the parents and child, and more. They then submit their findings to the court, which can impact the custody decision.

Child custody cases tend to get complicated and emotional. At the end of the day, everyone wants what’s best for the kids, both the parents and the courts. 

If your ex gets a new job, like one at a strip club, and it jeopardizes your child’s safety and well-being, you may have grounds to modify a parenting plan. But it’s also important to know that, even if you show cause, judges are often reluctant to change a court order once in place.

Listen to the Whole Call Below:

The post My Ex Works At A Strip Club—Can I Get Custody Of The Kids? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

Need more? Let’s add one last wrinkle, just for kicks. What if you’re in the middle of a divorce, your wife is pregnant, and it’s not your child?

That’s a mess, and it sounds like the plot of a Lifetime or Hallmark movie, but it happens more than you might think. So, who pays the child support? Are you on the hook for that?

Rick Jones, one of our founding partners, regularly appears on the KZOK 102.5 Morning Show, where he answers family law questions from listeners. In a recent episode, a caller posed this exact question.

Fortunately for him, there are ways to deal with child support in this situation as long as he takes the proper steps ahead of time.

Related Reading: Child Support Modification

Who pays child support? Listen to the Call:

Caller: “We’re in a pickle. My son was in the middle of a DIY divorce and his wife showed up pregnant. What does he do now to protect himself from not having to pay for this new child?”

Danny: “Is it factually his child?”

Caller: “No, it is not.”

Rick: “Okay, here’s what’s likely going to happen. The divorce is not finalized, correct?”

Caller: “Correct.”

Rick: “What’s likely to happen, as long as they’re honest in the paperwork when you file a petition, it asks, ‘Is the wife currently pregnant?’ If they were honest with that, the court’s probably going to hold up finalizing the divorce until there’s an outcome in terms of parentage.

“The reason they do that is that they’re there wanting to make sure the child is taken care of. They’re going to be very child-centric in their focus. Ultimately, what will happen is the child is born and there’s a paternity test that allows him to prove paternity.

“Unfortunately, because they’re married currently, he does have to disprove paternity.

“Now, if for any reason that petition has already been filed, the wife wasn’t pregnant, or perhaps they were dishonest in filling that out, then this probably happens without the court knowing.

“So to protect himself he definitely wants to have a paternity test after the child is born, so if and when she or the state ever come to him for funds he has the answer right away as opposed to having this happen five years down the road. Unfortunately, we’ve seen a lot of horror stories like this.”

Sarah: “Does he have to take any steps to make sure his name doesn’t get on the birth certificate?”

Rick: “The name doesn’t matter. There’s legal relevance, but on the birth certificate, it’s certainly going to be about who the father is. As long as he does the disproving up-front, that’s going to be good to go.”

Related Reading: Frequently Asked Child Support Questions Answered

The post Who Pays Support If Your Wife Has Another Man’s Baby? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

Our founding partner, Rick Jones, appears on 102.5 KZOK FM  Morning Show, where he answers family law questions from listeners. On a recent episode, this very topic came up.

A man called in to ask about protecting assets and sweat equity when dividing property during a divorce. Here’s what he had to say:

“I got married when I was 19-years-old and recently found out that she wasn’t the ‘One.’ What a surprise. My side hobby is I build cars and I have five or six registered, running, titled vehicles.

“We didn’t sign a prenup because we were so madly in love and now she wants to get these cars from me in the divorce because they’re worth a good amount of money.

“Is there something I can do to keep her from getting her hands on them? Can I give them to my friends, have them put their names on the title?”

Now 24, the caller bought these cars for less than $1000 and fixed them up. They’re now worth much more than what he initially paid for them. Through his work, the value increased. Does this factor into a divorce? And if so, how?

Find out the answer below.

What Is Sweat Equity in Divorce?

This topic of sweat equity comes up fairly often in situations like this. It most frequently arises when discussing shared homes.

For example, you purchase a house, do improvements, and ultimately increase the worth. Your sweat equity makes these items more valuable.

Who does this increased value belong to? Does it belong to one spouse or the other? Or both? Is there a way to protect your investment of time and effort?

The short answer is, it belongs to both and there isn’t really a way to shield them. It is, of course, more complicated than that, as most things are in divorce.

Related Reading: How Is Debt Divided During A Divorce?

Community Property

Washington is a community property state. This means the courts generally view assets acquired during a marriage as marital property belonging to both spouses.

In the caller’s case, most of the cars were purchased and repaired during the marriage. Because of this, the court will most likely view them as a shared asset to divide in the divorce. Even if you own something before marriage, the court may still consider it community property. It depends on the situation.

Does he get a larger share because he did work? Again, the answer is generally no.

For example, if the caller bought a car before tying the knot but later used marital funds to make the improvements—for parts or paint or that sort of thing—that added value becomes a shared asset.

The presumption is that even while he was working on the cars, his spouse is also there, providing material support. She may not have actually changed a carburetor, but she still played a part. As such, it also becomes community property.

Related Reading: Can You File For Bankruptcy During a Divorce?

A Note on Hiding Assets

Hiding assets in a divorce is generally a bad idea, not to mention illegal.

Unless you’re remarkably clever, judges and lawyers know all the tricks and have seen them before. You’re unlikely to come up with a strategy they haven’t considered. This includes the caller’s idea of “giving” the cars to friends. Most of these ideas are destined to backfire.

It also creates a paper trail that’s not hard to track. Oh, really, right before you filed for divorce you just gave your car to your brother? That’s not going to fool anyone.

In some instances, there are legal measures to protect assets. But definitely consult an attorney to make sure everything is above board.

If you get caught hiding assets, it can bite you and damage your case. Not only does your credibility take a direct hit, but you may also face other consequences .

Related Reading: How Is Debt Divided During A Divorce?

The post Sweat Equity In Divorce Settlements appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

Is child support modification possible?

Though you must meet specific requirements, you can modify child support in Washington. Like trying to alter most court-issued decrees, however, it’s not particularly easy. Or cheap.

Child support covers everything that caring for children entails. This includes everyday costs like food and shelter, medical care, and education, among other expenses. When determining the amount, the court considers many factors.

The calculation includes, among other things:

• The amount of time a parent spends with a child.
• Each parent’s income.
• The level of need.

The best way to ensure you don’t wind up paying more child support than you can afford is to do what you can to get the number right the first time.

If you have concerns about the amount laid out by the child support formula, dispute it before it becomes official. You can argue why you should pay less or why you should receive more. It’s much, much easier to take care of this now than to deal with it later.

If you don’t do this upfront, child support modification often turns into a grind.

Related Reading: Who Pays Support If Your Wife Has Another Man’s Baby?

How Do  You File For Child Support Modification?

There are two different ways to proceed when trying to change a child support order in Washington. One is to file a Motion for Adjustment of Child Support, and the other is to submit a Petition to Modify Child Support. Each one has specific requirements, and whether to file one or the other depends on the situation.

Motion for Adjustment of Child Support

This is generally the quicker, easier path. It involves less paperwork, and the case is often settled in a single hearing. That said, not everyone qualifies.

You can file this motion if it’s been two years since the initial order and either your income or your ex’s income has changed. Or if it’s been at least one year and the child has turned 12 and changed age category.

Petition to Modify Child Support Order

A year after the initial child support order, you can file this way if the payments cause severe financial hardship to you or the child, the child turned 18 but hasn’t finished high school, or if there has been a drastic change in your economic circumstances.

Related Reading: Does Legal Marijuana Affect Child Custody?

When Can You Modify Child Support?

Either parent can file a request to modify child support. Because of the importance of the payments, child support modification usually requires the filing parent to show a significant change in circumstances.

• For the paying parent, this commonly takes the form of a drop in income, frequently due to the loss of a job.
• On the other hand, the custodial parent can request an increase if, for example, the other parent gets a substantial raise or promotion.
• If there are big changes in parenting time.
• A baby with a new spouse.
• A drastic change in the child’s needs, such as increased medical attention, a new need for regular child care, or education costs. (For postsecondary education, a modification must occur before the child turns 18.)

Related Reading: When Does Child Support Go Past 18?

Child Support Modification Without A Change In Circumstances

If it’s been less than a year since the court handed down your support order, you must show a change in economic circumstances to modify child support.

If it’s been more than a year since the court handed down your support order, child support modification is possible. You still have to meet a handful of criteria to be eligible.

• If a payment represents an undue financial burden on either the parent or the child.
• If due to the child’s increased age, he or she no longer falls into the same category the original calculation was based on.
• Or if a child has turned 18 but needs continued support to complete high school.

If your situation fits into one of these areas and more than a year has passed since the initial order, you can request child support modification. It’s not a simple process, and the court is often hesitant to alter an existing edict, but you can try.

It’s important to note that sometimes, even if you do meet the criteria, the court may still not grant the change.

Related Reading: Frequently Asked Child Support Questions In Washington

After Filing To Modify Child Support

Once you file the forms for a child support modification, the next step is to serve your ex. This involves delivering a summons, a copy of the motion or petition, and the appropriate worksheets to your child’s other parent.

As in most cases, it’s likely in your best interest to use a professional process server to accomplish this step. If you’re working with an attorney, they should be able to help in this area.

Once served, your ex has 20 days to respond to the petition—60 days if served outside of Washington. If there’s no response in the given window, you may receive a default judgment. This is where the court issues an order without an appearance from the served party.

After you serve the papers and your ex responds, either one of you can schedule a hearing. Both sides make their cases and lay out their respective arguments. When you finish presenting all the evidence and stating your claim, the court issues a ruling.

Attempts to modify child support are complicated. You have many hoops to jump through and boxes to check off. And even then, it’s an uphill battle.

Though child support modification is an option, in many cases, the court is hesitant to change an existing order. If you do go this route, take your time to make sure you do all the legwork and have the strongest possible argument.

Related Reading: Can Your Ex Keep Your Kids From Sports?

From the Radio

Our founding partner, Rick Jones, makes regular appearances on the Danny Bonaduce and Sarah Morning Show on KZOK, where he answers listener questions about family law matters. One caller, as happens fairly often, had questions about modifying his child support payments.

CALLER: “I just recently got divorced and in the process also lost my job. I was wondering how I could go about getting a child support payment lowered?”

Rick’s Answer:

Danny: “That’s a great question.”

Rick: “What are your prospects for getting your next job?”

Caller: “Well right now, low.”

Rick: “Okay, here’s one of the problems. Unemployment, more often than not, is very temporary. So jumping right back into the court now to say: ‘Hey, let’s reduce my child support I have no income whatsoever,’ has two problems to it. 

“One, it costs money to get back into court.

“Two, they also don’t want you back so quickly. The preference is one year, often two years after the last support order was entered. The fact that I’m hearing you were recently divorced is a little bit of an issue.

“Here’s what you can do though certainly IF there’s the ability to make sure to get gainfully employed again. Even if it’s at a number you’re less than comfortable with, at that point, you’re able to go back to the court and say look, ‘I have a new circumstance and this circumstance isn’t going to change.’ So it carries with it a whole lot more credibility in seeking an adjustment.”

Danny: “I learn something new every time you’re here. So I just assumed that if I was out of work, say you have to pay $1,000 a month and now I don’t have any money, nothing coming in, hey your honor, so really your honor wants to see a track record of nothing coming in or less coming in if he’s going to change.”

Rick: “Well, they don’t want to waste their time. If what they’re listening to after you get to court–which may take weeks to get to court–is, ‘I make no money at all, okay, what am I going to do with this child support,’ and then voila, two weeks later this person’s employed. Does that mean she goes back to court and tries and get it raised? So they’re trying to be efficient.”

Related Reading: What Does a Parenting Plan Include?

The post Child Support Modification: How To Change A Support Order appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

People often think of custody as black and white; you have it or you don’t. The reality is usually more complex than that.

There’s a wide variety of possible custody arrangements. How the court decides this depends on many factors and the specific situation. It’s different in every case.

Still, when navigating the process, it’s beneficial to know and be familiar with the options. It’s also important to have a grasp of the terminology. This helps you understand the proceedings and the rights of both parents.

In fact, much of that jargon has changed over the years.

Though the legal verbiage has changed, at least officially, the term custody remains a big part of how people talk about where and how a child will be raised. During the process, you’ll likely encounter common key terms like physical custody, legal custody, sole custody, and joint custody.

With so much going on and so many details, you need to understand the meaning behind each.

Related Reading: What Does a Parenting Plan Include?

What are the Types of Child Custody in Washington?

Physical Custody:

Physical custody grants one parent the right to have that child live with them. This means that parent has control over where the child lives, as well as their daily routine.

Physical custody can be awarded as either sole physical custody or joint physical custody. In the latter, the child splits time between both parents. The parenting plan lays out the specific details of the arrangement and schedule.

Related Reading: Passports, Custody, and International Travel

Legal Custody:

Having legal custody grants that parent the right and obligation to make decisions about the child’s life and upbringing. This includes daily life, but also medical care, education and schooling, and even things like religion.

As with physical custody, the courts can award legal custody in either a sole or joint form. In the case of joint legal custody, both parents maintain some level of input when it comes to these big life decisions.

Related Reading: Texts as Evidence in Divorce and Custody Cases

Sole Custody:

Sole custody occurs when the courts grant one parent exclusive physical or legal custody, or both.

True sole custody is pretty rare. Generally, the courts view keeping both parents an active part of a child’s life as the best option.

Sole custody usually only happens when the courts deem one parent unfit. Most often, this occurs in cases with a history of abuse or neglect, drug or alcohol dependency, or even if a new partner or spouse is unsuited to care for the child. The same also applies if the court deems a particular living situation unsafe.

Related Reading: Ex Refuses Court-Ordered Visitation

Joint Custody:

As the name implies, in joint custody, sometimes called shared custody, the courts award parental rights and responsibilities to both parents. This means they share the duties of raising their child. They may not live together, but both participate in the child’s life in a substantial way.

Joint custody is the most common type of arrangement.

But as is the case with so many legal matters, it’s more complicated than it initially appears. What this looks like in reality varies from case to case.

Here’s one example: A mother may have sole physical custody but share joint legal custody with the father. In this case, though the child lives full-time with one parent, both have decision-making power when it comes to how the child is raised.

Joint custody usually involves the parents sharing both physical and legal custody. That, however, isn’t always the case. As in the example above, parents may share joint legal custody but not physical custody. Courts often combine various elements to fit the needs and specifics of a case.

Related Reading: What Are the Odds of Getting Primary Custody?

Joint Custody and Proximity

It may seem obvious, but joint custody works best when the parents live close to one another.

This makes regular, practical hurdles much more manageable. Getting the kids from one house to another, from school to home to baseball practice and the rest, is much easier when it’s all in the same general area.

This also gives kids the opportunity to spend a significant amount of time with both parents.

Complications arise the greater the distance. It’s one thing to go from Queen Anne to Eastlake, but another to go from Seattle to Tacoma or Olympia. In a case like that, kids may spend the week with one parent while splitting weekends and holidays between two homes. This “weekend parent” model is a common arrangement.

Related Reading: Can I Still Smoke Weed? Legal Marijuana and Child Custody

What are the Upsides and Downsides Of Joint Custody?

The greatest benefit of joint custody is that it keeps both parents involved in a child’s life in a major way. As said earlier, the court generally views that as the best-case scenario. This helps maintain parent-child bonds and allows these relationships the chance to continue to develop.

It also puts the responsibility for raising the child on both parents. One parent doesn’t wind up stuck making all the difficult choices and doing all the hard work.

There are, of course, drawbacks to joint custody. Co-parenting presents a number of potential issues.

Even if your split was amicable, you may not want to see your ex on a regular basis. But if you share parenting responsibilities and residential time, that’s an unfortunate reality. Frequent contact and communication, while necessary, may lead to friction and conflict or bring up old hurt feelings.

Practical concerns can also cause problems. Even if it’s only across town, shuttling the kids back and forth takes time. Creating a schedule, and sticking to it, can be stressful, for the parents and the kids. Depending on the circumstances, one parent may feel that he or she puts in more time, effort, money, or emotion, which often also leads to strife.

Though joint custody may be difficult, consider the alternative. This way, you stay a big part of your child’s life. That’s better for them and it’s better for you.

It may be tough to work past some issues, but remember to focus on the best interests of your kids. This is more about them than you, and it’s important not to lose sight of that fact.

Related Reading: Is Washington a No-Fault Divorce State?

The post Types Of Custody: What Is Joint Custody? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

Errors cost people in a variety of ways:

• You can lose out on your share of the marital assets.
• Child custody or visitation can be decreased.
• You can end up paying more for spousal support.
• It can create additional tension, animosity, and hard feelings between spouses.

Divorce has a huge impact on your life moving forward. As such, it’s vital not to screw it up for avoidable reasons.

How People Damage Their Divorce

People damage their divorce cases in many ways, but if you know what to look out for, hopefully, you can avoid hurting your own cause.

1. Filing Too Soon

Some people believe that filing for divorce first gives you an edge. They try to burst out of the starting gate ahead of their spouse. In some circumstances, this works. But in others, people irreparably damage their own divorce.

If you’re prepared and have a clear plan of action, by all means, go right ahead. But don’t just file for the sake of filing.

Take the time to organize paperwork and documents, save money, and find the right divorce attorney. Laying a solid foundation for your case is far more beneficial than being the first to file. Sure, you may want to get it over with, as soon as possible, but being prepared only helps in the long run.

Related Reading: Is Washington a No-Fault Divorce State?

2. Agreeing to Unfavorable Terms

Divorce is a hectic, stressful, wildly emotional time. By the time they get deep into the process, many people have been through so much they want it to be over, no matter the cost. But sometimes that cost is great.

Far too often, people willingly offer assets or agree to unfair terms in hopes of speeding things up. Of course, it hurts, ending a marriage is tough. But being as level-headed as possible helps many people avoid damaging their own divorce case.

Related Reading: When is the Best Time to Divorce?

3. Taking Bad Advice

Divorce is common. You likely know multiple people who have been through the process before. Many eagerly offer advice and share their stories, but be careful which suggestions you follow.

In some cases, advice from friends leads people to harm their cases.

No matter how well-intentioned, well-wishers often inadvertently undermine your position.

Every case is different, so what worked in one situation may not work in yours. While one strategy worked like gangbusters for your best friend’s cousin, it may derail your case.

Some advice, like transferring assets out of your name, may even backfire horribly. Before you do anything, a good rule of thumb is to run it by your attorney first.

Related Reading: Divorce Strategies

4. Moving Out

Moving out of a shared home sounds like a no-brainer. Who wants to keep living with a soon-to-be-ex? After all, if the living situation was great, you probably wouldn’t be divorcing.

A common practice, by the time divorce gets underway, most couples already live apart. In many cases, however, this can damage your case.

• Moving out can set precedents about child custody decisions and impact visitation.
• If you leave the house in the hands of your spouse, it often results in larger spousal support payments.
• It often influences the division of property.
• You may be obligated to continue paying bills during divorce even if you no longer live there.

There can be many unexpected consequences. Take the time to truly weigh the decision.

Related Reading: Moving Our During Divorce: What You Need to Know

5. Hiding Assets

Since dividing property has a substantial effect on financial well-being, it’s natural to want to protect your interests. Some people try to accomplish this by transferring assets out of their name or otherwise concealing resources.

No matter how shrewd you think you are, if you try this, you’ll most likely be found out.

If your spouse has a lawyer, they’ve probably been through this before and know where to look. This not only ruins a person’s credibility, but it can also damage their case.

Related Reading: How to File for Divorce in Washington

6. Acting In Anger

Acting out of anger is rarely if ever, a good idea. This is true in daily life and especially during a divorce.

You may have good reasons for being mad, hurt, or disappointed, but using divorce as a tool of vengeance doesn’t do any good. More often than not, it only prolongs things, costs more money, and makes everyone feel worse.

When it involves kids, it’s even trickier. With shared custody, you’ll have to communicate with your ex in some capacity.

If you burn bridges and create additional hostility, the kids will pick up on that.

Try to stick to the facts at hand, avoid unnecessary conflict, and prepare to move forward with your life. You’re doing this to move on, not linger in the past.

Related Reading: Divorce After a Brief Marriage

7. Doing It Yourself

With online resources and guides, handling a divorce yourself is now easier and more accessible than ever. In a few minutes, you can download the forms, fill them out, pay the fees, and file them in the appropriate place. Easy.

While a do-it-yourself approach is ideal in some cases, some people damage their own divorce by trying to save a few dollars.

When it comes to shorter marriages with no kids and little shared property, DIY is often the way to go. However, the more there is to deal with, the more complicated things get. The likelihood of mistakes increases along with the complexity. Especially if your spouse hires a divorce lawyer, consider hiring one of your own.

Related Reading: Pro Se Divorce: The Positives and Negatives of DIY Divorce Proceedings

8. Acting Out On Social Media

Facebook, X, Instagram, and other social media outlets play a role in our daily lives. Increasingly, they also play a role in divorce.

One study found that one-third of divorce filings in the United States cite the word “Facebook.” Often this is how one spouse finds out about infidelity on the part of the other. But social media also frequently factors into the actual divorce process.

Lashing out at an ex online paints an ugly picture. Sharing particulars of a divorce often causes one side to stop cooperating with the other. In custody situations, posting photos of wild nights out can make a person look like an irresponsible parent.

Too often, people don’t consider the impact of what they post and cause problems for themselves.

These are just a few ways people ultimately damage their own divorce cases. Don’t worry, there are many others.

How divorce plays out has a huge impact on your life moving forward. There’s custody, division of property, maintenance payments, and more to consider.

Stop to think through the potential consequences. Try to remain calm, rational, and use common sense in every decision. When in doubt, check with your lawyer if you have one. Divorce is hard enough, don’t create new problems to overcome.

Related Reading: An Epic Divorce Tale of Spite and Anger

From Divorce For Men Radio

The post Ways People Damage Their Own Divorce Cases appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.