Need more? Let’s add one last wrinkle, just for kicks. What if you’re in the middle of a divorce, your wife is pregnant, and it’s not your child?

That’s a mess, and it sounds like the plot of a Lifetime or Hallmark movie, but it happens more than you might think. So, who pays the child support? Are you on the hook for that?

Rick Jones, one of our founding partners, regularly appears on the KZOK 102.5 Morning Show, where he answers family law questions from listeners. In a recent episode, a caller posed this exact question.

Fortunately for him, there are ways to deal with child support in this situation as long as he takes the proper steps ahead of time.

Related Reading: Child Support Modification

Who pays child support? Listen to the Call:

Caller: “We’re in a pickle. My son was in the middle of a DIY divorce and his wife showed up pregnant. What does he do now to protect himself from not having to pay for this new child?”

Danny: “Is it factually his child?”

Caller: “No, it is not.”

Rick: “Okay, here’s what’s likely going to happen. The divorce is not finalized, correct?”

Caller: “Correct.”

Rick: “What’s likely to happen, as long as they’re honest in the paperwork when you file a petition, it asks, ‘Is the wife currently pregnant?’ If they were honest with that, the court’s probably going to hold up finalizing the divorce until there’s an outcome in terms of parentage.

“The reason they do that is that they’re there wanting to make sure the child is taken care of. They’re going to be very child-centric in their focus. Ultimately, what will happen is the child is born and there’s a paternity test that allows him to prove paternity.

“Unfortunately, because they’re married currently, he does have to disprove paternity.

“Now, if for any reason that petition has already been filed, the wife wasn’t pregnant, or perhaps they were dishonest in filling that out, then this probably happens without the court knowing.

“So to protect himself he definitely wants to have a paternity test after the child is born, so if and when she or the state ever come to him for funds he has the answer right away as opposed to having this happen five years down the road. Unfortunately, we’ve seen a lot of horror stories like this.”

Sarah: “Does he have to take any steps to make sure his name doesn’t get on the birth certificate?”

Rick: “The name doesn’t matter. There’s legal relevance, but on the birth certificate, it’s certainly going to be about who the father is. As long as he does the disproving up-front, that’s going to be good to go.”

Related Reading: Frequently Asked Child Support Questions Answered

The post Who Pays Support If Your Wife Has Another Man’s Baby? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

What do you think of when you think of a family? Your mind probably conjures up images of a mother, a father, a couple of kids, and that sort of thing. But families come in all shapes, sizes, and configurations. With a rising remarriage rate, new blended families rise from the ashes of the old. This creates all manner of new family dynamics and relationships that exist beyond genetic connections.

Can You Win Custody Of A Child that isn’t biologically yours?

Deep emotional connections are not exclusive to biologically linked households. All of this further complicates matters when it comes to divorce and child custody disputes.

In most cases, a biological parent has a significant advantage when it comes to gaining custody.

There are, however, situations where the court has awarded a non-biological parent, like a stepparent, custody over a blood mother or father. These situations are few and far between and usually represent extreme circumstances. But they do exist.

Related Reading: Right of First Refusal, Divorce, and Child Custody

When Can A Non-Biological Parent Be Granted Custody?

When it comes to custody, the best interests of the child take precedent over all other concerns. The health and well-being of any minors trumps pretty much any other factors.

Most of the time, the court views remaining with a biological parent as the ideal situation. But not always.

If you vie for custody of a child that isn’t your blood relation, you have the opportunity to present your case. And if you can demonstrate that you are the optimal guardian, you may have a chance.

You should, however, prepare to face an uphill battle.

Perhaps the most common conditions that may lead to a non-biological parent being awarded child custody are cases of abuse, neglect, or abandonment. If you show that the minor remaining with their biological parents places them in harm’s way, you may have a chance.

Are the parents involved in dangerous activities or criminal enterprises that may negatively impact the child’s well-being? If so, the court will consider that.

Similar to cases of abuse and neglect, a child may be removed from such situations if they are in jeopardy. When custodial parents wind up in jail or are otherwise absent, children may also be relocated. However, in these cases, the courts usually like to place them in the car of blood relations.

While you may be able to gain custody by proving that the child’s biological parents are unfit, it is also possible for both sides to agree outside of arbitration.

Perhaps the birth mother recognizes she’s not the best option to care for her child right now. If she’s willing to hand over custody or grant parental rights, that may work. Regular or extended visitation is also an option worth exploring in some cases.

Related Reading: Can I Still Smoke Weed? Legal Marijuana and Child Custody

Best Interests Of The Child

The court considers many factors before ultimately deciding on child custody.

• The age of the child or children in question figures into the final ruling.
• The older the child, the more meaningful a bond he or she may have formed with a non-biological parent, and they often account for this.
• If a child is old enough, he or she may be able to voice an opinion on the matter. This, however, usually only happens with older children.

Though the court can take a child’s preferences into account, a judge ultimately acts in the child’s best interest. Even if that runs counter to the child’s expressed wishes or parental convenience.

Along these lines, the court may consider the relationship between a non-biological parent and child.

• If the bond is deep, meaningful, and beneficial, that may factor into the decision.
• If you have acted like a parent, that goes a long way to strengthening your case.
• Raising a child from a very young age, paying child support, and generally looking after their health and well-being.

Keep in mind that the child’s best interests are paramount. Long, drawn-out court battles may not be ideal. Hopefully, you and the other parties involved will be able to come to a peaceable accord.

Related Reading: What Does a Parenting Plan Include?

The post Can A Non-Biological Father Get Custody? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

If you really believe in giving children every opportunity to succeed, it’s a no-brainer that having the guidance and influence of two loving parents is imperative.

Some may say that it’s about having a strong male influence, but it may be more about contrast. In our firm, there are a lot of guys who would love nothing better than to spend an entire weekend watching football. But there are also those who sit and surf Pinterest while their wives watch the game. Traditionally masculine and feminine traits can be exhibited by either gender.

It’s good for kids to have multiple role models. Everyone has their own shortcomings and weaknesses, but they also have strengths. If you are weak in one area, hopefully, your kid’s other parent can set a better example for them. If you’re both weak in the same areas, perhaps that’s what led to divorce in the first place. Hopefully at least one of you learns something that will help you overcome your shortcomings. That’s what life is about, right?

A Story About Fatherhood

To share a personal perspective, this writer has never met his biological father and has no idea where he is or who he is.

I was raised by a wonderful adoptive family and a father who was the very definition of a caring and supportive dad, a man who dedicated his life to his kids. (My adoptive mother was amazing too, but today’s topic is dads.)

How many of you can say you had a dad who was playing professional jazz in nightclubs at the age of 16, dropped out of high school to serve in World War II, and came back and enrolled in college without ever getting that high school diploma?

My dad, a  school dropout, then earned his doctorate while supporting himself as a professional musician. He became an audiologist for the VA but continued to play professionally on weekends for 50 years.

I’ll never be as cool as my dad.

When my birth mother eventually found me, her husband was a Marine vet who had served in combat in Vietnam. He came home, raised a family, and was successful in business. He immediately accepted me as his own when we first met and we have a great relationship.

There’s not space to go into all of it here, but my wife’s stepdad was an incredible parent as well and I am lucky to have known him and seen his example. You could say I’ve had an overabundance of great fathers and I love all of them. But in the back of my mind, there’s a nagging feeling I want to know the guy who passed along his DNA.

My wife is more pragmatic. We were getting ready to start our family and she wanted to find blood relatives for a medical history. Early in our marriage, I was resistant to seeking out my birth family.

I felt it would be disrespectful to my adoptive dad. But when my birth mother and one of my sisters showed up on my doorstep one day, it was an incredible experience and it got me to thinking about a lot of things I’d locked in the back of my mind.

The other thing that my wife and I noticed right away was all of the traits, good and bad, that I inherited from my mother and we immediately wondered what I received from the other side of the gene pool.

I share a small snapshot of my experience to underscore the importance of fathers. As I said, I ultimately had three world-class dads. I wouldn’t trade for anything but I still wish I could meet and know dad 1.0, or as he is known around my house, the “sperm guy.”

Everyone wants to know their roots. Genealogy is becoming increasingly popular. You know a concept has gone mainstream when they start dedicating TV shows to it.

I mean, how many commercials for ancestry.com have you seen this week? 42?

Other Reading: Child Custody Hearings: What to Expect from Your Day in Court
Other Reading: What Does a Parenting Plan Include?
Other Reading: Establishing Paternity in Washington

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