8 Ways to Help With the Holiday Blues During a Divorce

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Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years— the holidays are expected to be filled with the utmost merriment. However, when dealing with a divorce or separation, some families are unable to share in the festivities. Traditions and gatherings become so common within families that when change occurs, it is difficult for not only the parents, but the children as well to adapt.

Even with the challenges that divorce and change can bring, there are ways to get through the holiday blues.

  1. Do not feel discouraged, your child needs you to keep the positive light in the house while still being real about the situation. There is no need to pretend that everything is just fine, it is okay to be honest about it all, but reassure them that it will all be okay in the end and to still smile because there is still love filling the home.
  1.  Plan accordingly with the other parent if they want a day for Christmas. If there are children involved you want to be sure they see both sides. Children begin to feel forgotten or to blame if they do not see the other parents. Try to get all other holiday shopping, family visits and legal meetings all on a schedule that works best for you and the child. It is not easy to juggle all the holiday madness. Plan ahead, but also leave some meditation and relaxation for yourself. It is easy to get caught up in the madness so always set aside some time for yourself.
  1. Continue to be social even if it is with family. Family and friends are there for the support you need, you cannot do this alone. Get out and enjoy some part of the holidays. Spending time with friends can clear your head and provide a good distraction. If questions arise in these group meetings and you do not want to discuss them then just simply state to them that that is not a topic you wish to discuss at that time.
  1. Let your traditions evolve. There is no reason to abandon your favorite parts of the holidays because your circumstances have changed. Finding new a creative ways to carry on holiday traditions can build new meanings and memories.
  1. Stay active. Physical activity has been shown to boost energy levels and moods.  It can also be a great tool for managing stress, and during the holidays it can counteract the extra calories from eggnog, cookies, and the inevitable big meals.
  1. Giving back to others can remind your children that this is still the time of giving thanks by also giving back to your community. Whether it is just donating towards a food drive, or lending a helping hand at the homeless shelter. Contributing and bringing meaning of the holidays to others can help heal some of the raw emotions that come with divorce.
  1. Showing respect towards your ex during this time will help things  operate more smoothly for you and the children. Anger, frustration, and denial are all feelings that are common during this time, but it is wise to keep a positive relationship for the children.
  1.  In the end, be honest that things are not the same as they were, but that does not mean things cannot get better. There is so much to live for and so many more days in our lives that we cannot let these days bring us down and shape our whole being. Keeping the positivity and hope that they are still family and there is still love will help the children cope with what is to come and possibly be more accepting.

There are new tales to be told and new ventures to seek so do not get caught up in the holiday blues. They will pass with time, but stay together and be there for one another. Do not let anger or frustrations come out and bring negativity to the household, merriment should still fill the air because there is still each other to be thankful for.

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